Spare

This page contains affiliate links, and we may receive compensation if you click on a link. You can read my full advertising disclosure HERE.

Manufacturer: Prince Harry
Brand: Memoir
Brew: Hardback
Steeping Time: 416 pages
Tea Service: Personal Choice
Strength:

Synopsis: It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.

For Harry, this is that story at last.

Before losing his mother, twelve-year-old Prince Harry was known as the carefree one, the happy-go-lucky Spare to the more serious Heir. Grief changed everything. He struggled at school, struggled with anger, with loneliness—and, because he blamed the press for his mother’s death, he struggled to accept life in the spotlight.

At twenty-one, he joined the British Army. The discipline gave him structure, and two combat tours made him a hero at home. But he soon felt more lost than ever, suffering from post-traumatic stress and prone to crippling panic attacks. Above all, he couldn’t find true love.

Then he met Meghan. The world was swept away by the couple’s cinematic romance and rejoiced in their fairy-tale wedding. But from the beginning, Harry and Meghan were preyed upon by the press, subjected to waves of abuse, racism, and lies. Watching his wife suffer, their safety and mental health at risk, Harry saw no other way to prevent the tragedy of history repeating itself but to flee his mother country. Over the centuries, leaving the Royal Family was an act few had dared. The last to try, in fact, had been his mother. . .

For the first time, Prince Harry tells his own story, chronicling his journey with raw, unflinching honesty. A landmark publication, Spare is full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief.

Prince Harry has always been my favorite, so maybe I’m a little biased.

Maybe it’s the red hair. Maybe it’s the ‘youngest sibling’ status (which I hold, too), or maybe it’s because he came off as the funny one. I don’t know exactly why, but out of the entirety of the Royal Family, Harry and Queen Elizabeth were the two I loved the most.

When Harry found happiness with Meghan, I was overjoyed. I woke up in the wee morning hours to watch their wedding, complete with a pot of tea and a plate of shortbread biscuits. It was a genuine fairy tale. A dream come true. A modern princess story and a happy-ever-after for my favorite prince after a lifetime of grief for his beloved mother. But then something shifted.

I was baffled and shattered when the whole of England seemed to turn their backs on them overnight. I didn’t understand it. It just didn’t make any sense to me. I’ve followed Harry’s journey for as long as I can remember, and now I’m following his and Meghan’s journey along with their sweet babies. So it was no surprise whatsoever that I preordered Spare the moment it was available. After months of waiting, and then an extra two weeks because it got lost in the mail, I dove into one of the most anticipated books of the year with reckless abandon.

Spare is separated into three parts.

The first focuses mainly on the death of his mother, Princess Diana, and the trauma that he carried, and still carries, from that event. It follows his school years, how he dealt with vital moments of his life, and public perception of who he was. The second part delves into his military career, and the third focuses on his love story with Meghan.

Threaded through each part is a line of grief that leads back to his mother’s death. I can’t imagine losing a parent at such a young age. Not only that but then not being given the proper love and tools to help process that loss. And then, to add fuel to the fire, not a day goes by that some stranger isn’t bringing up that loss and asking how you’re handling it. Or if you miss her. Or if she’d be proud. Disappointed. It’s a never-ending barrage, constantly digging up that trauma and never letting it rest. It’s got to be agonizing.

The other common theme throughout Spare is Harry’s constant reminder that he’s second best. The spare. It’s beautiful to see the moments where that isn’t being held over his head. He’s allowed to shine, grow, and truly be his own person. And I can see why he craves the freedom he now has. I can also see why being parted from his family hurts him so much. To not be accepted or heard by them. And ultimately, to not trust them.

Many people don’t understand why Harry would want to tell his story.

They claim that if all he wants is privacy, he should never open his mouth. But there is a definite bold line between someone invading your privacy to make a headline or sell a story and you personally deciding to put something out into the world. One indicates violation, or something taken from you. The other shows ownership. It shows choice. And it gives the person power rather than taking it all away. So as far as I’m concerned: Get it, Harry.

I’ve seen many other reviewers say that the beginning is slow and that the story only picks up when Harry gets to his Army days or when he finally talks about meeting Meghan, and their unfolding story. If you’re only interested in Harry because of Meghan, then that might hold true for you. But for me? Every page held my attention.

Since I’ve adored Harry long before Meghan came into his life, I found his entire story intriguing.

Spare gives a peek behind the curtain of the Royal Family and how everything operates. It gives the world a glimpse of what life is like in the limelight, which in my opinion, sounds like an absolute nightmare. As someone pursuing a career that directly involves this sort of thing, I can tell you I don’t want it. I want to make movies and still be able to go out to dinner with my husband without being hounded by the media.

I can’t imagine how scared Harry and William must have been when the media chased them as children. And I can’t begin to imagine the feeling of realizing they’ve found you again, just when you thought you’d hidden away in a far-off place, only to see boats approaching the shoreline with cameras on display. It is never-ending.

For the most part, Spare doesn’t give much new information. There are new details about Harry’s childhood, and we do get more intimate moments, both good and bad, between Harry and those around him. Most of all, you get Harry’s story in his own words.

I know there are articles about details that Harry got wrong.

Was it an Xbox or a PlayStation? Where was he when he received certain information? Personally, I’m not going to put too much weight on those details. The human memory is a fickle thing, and Harry is human, after all. I’m not going to hold those things against him. Instead, I’ll take it for what it is; his own stories as he remembers them.

I love the honest moments we get and the little personal details of Harry’s life, like all of his nicknames and what he calls his brother. I appreciate that he also shows his own darker side, like his argument with Meghan and moments when he wasn’t at his best. The whole of Spare felt genuine, and I could hear Harry’s voice when I read it. I’d also like to listen to the audiobook version someday since Prince Harry narrates it himself.

At the end of the day, I truly enjoyed Spare.

I hope that being able to share his own words brings Harry some sort of peace. I think that’s all he wants: peace and healing, and a place to start the conversation. There is so much of his life that hurts my heart for him. So many moments when the poor boy just needed a hug and for someone to tell him they loved him. That he was enough. But he seemed to be robbed of that at every turn.

It’s easy to see how that trickled down from generations before him, and it’s incredible to see how those trends are changing with Harry and his children, and even William and his children, too. I hope that through all of this and the past traumas they’ve endured, that Harry and William can shift in a more positive direction with their own families. I don’t know if they’ll ever reconcile, although that’s all I want for them, but I do hope they can all grow and learn and live happier lives.

If you’re interested in memoirs or the Royal Family, Spare should definitely be on your TBR list. I was an honest and raw account of the imperfect life of someone that the world thought ‘had it all.’ It goes to show that fame and money do not buy happiness and that we’re all just people. Real people with real feelings and dreams and wants. So, please, be kind to one another.

Have you read Spare? Leave a comment and let me know what you thought about it! Want to read it for yourself? Click here to get a copy of your own.
Cheers,
Lydia